Mindset Matters

Progress isn’t always visible, but the climb matters. Confidence and resilience come from doing hard things. For over 30 years, I’ve had the privilege of coaching youth athletes. And while I love competition, what I love even more is watching kids grow, seeing them surprise themselves, step into their potential, and do something they once thought was out of reach. It’s the kid who finally scores that first goal after a season of near misses. It’s the girl who didn’t make the

When pressure arrives before preparation—and no one knows how to hold it. The moment isn’t the problem. How we hold it is. I spent this past weekend with my boys and some close friends at a college showcase soccer tournament in Seattle. The game before my youngest son’s ended in a draw and went to a penalty kick shootout to determine a winner. As I leaned against the fence, talking with a good friend, I remarked on how cool it was that those girls had the chance to experience

"When we resolve to go to the gym four days a week, the first missed workout feels like failure. The resolution is gone. But when we intend to prioritize our physical health, a missed day doesn’t erase the intention—it simply becomes part of the process."

Sometimes we need to reduce the intensity. Here are a couple of coaches taking the time to check in with the players Much has been said about the power of an intentional reset in high-pressure moments. We teach athletes to find a focal point, take a breath, and let a mistake go. But we often fail to recognize that the most intense pressure in the room isn’t coming from the opponent—it’s coming from the adults. As parents and coaches, we often mistake our intensity for “suppor

What happens when a child becomes what they do—and how can we help them become who they are? I was talking with a friend recently when she shared that another friend's son wanted to quit college football after his freshman year. His father wouldn’t allow him, which caused considerable underlying tension. Here’s the part of that story that resonated with me: this boy didn’t become a “football player” at 19. His identity had been shaped around that role long before he stepped

How pressure replaces possibility — and how kids can get it back. I was lucky to win many championships throughout my childhood. World Cups. Super Bowls. Wimbledon. The US Open.And a few others I’ve probably forgotten. All of them were played on my home turf — my backyard, our public park, or whatever wall I could throw, kick, or hit a ball against. My childhood home sits on a hill with two sides of the property being held in place by a concrete retaining wall. Nothing specia

Throughout my coaching career, I’ve tried to help players connect with themselves and move through self-doubt so they could push beyond what they thought they were capable of. I didn’t always get it right. I’m sure there are a few (maybe more) athletes who might say I had the opposite effect. To those I didn’t get right—please know that I’ve learned and grown, and I do apologize. As I’ve reflected on thousands of conversations and interactions with players, a few patterns ha

As I was recently reworking my website, I couldn’t help but notice the two seemingly lonely and forgotten blog posts sitting here at Mindset Matters . I took pause. Another reminder of a well-intended idea, this one both an entrepreneurial pursuit and a cathartic outlet, stalled. A false start. Great concept. No bandwidth to execute. That was the story I started telling myself, the familiar, self-sabotaging loop that begins as reflection and slides into negative self-talk. I

We all know that any success comes with a natural level of pressure. But for many people, especially teens and young adults, learning how to navigate that pressure can be incredibly difficult. While we, as adults, can often look back and recognize that failure is the foundation of growth, teens don’t yet have the benefit of hindsight. For them, pressure is new, and it can feel overwhelming, even paralyzing. How many times have you seen your teen stay up all night before a big